Tag Archives: writing

Scruffy

I kept crossing paths with the painted metal goat in the local home store.

You know the type of store that has everything non essential for living. Wacky furniture, loads of fabric, thumb tacks, a seasonal aisle with fish shaped bbq tongs (whatever that means) and the smallest amount of groceries. You only came in this store if the big box store didn’t carry that thing you needed for your craft project you finally got around to, or you wanted to make fun of something.

The goat looked mass produced. There was an entire row of them where they normally put the Christmas trees or lawn chairs. Probably set out because summer was nearly over but no real holiday was coming up soon enough yet. My guess was that the goats were lawn ornaments. Who would ever want that in their house!?

I had come into the store three times for my project when the goat got the better of me. I had to get one. It had to be my lucky day, the goat was 50% off an already reduced price. Which tells me the store hadn’t sold many.

In fact, as the cashier rang up my items she got to the goat and said “Thank God, these stare at me all day.” I had worked in retail before and I understood her sentiment. Or so I had thought.

Weeks after purchasing the goat and placing it in my back yard near the garden I got a gnawing urge to bring it inside. There was a huge storm coming later in the day, but this goat was meant to be outside. I couldn’t pin the reason but I took it inside and put it near the staircase in the foyer.

It sat there another few weeks, greeting guests as they entered. Most of my friends had come to love the goat. Giving it the name of Scruffy. Which was ironic, since he had no hair. One friend in particular was fond of knitting sweaters for him. By Christmas he was very festive, a red hat, green vest, and little black boots all made out of yarn. I was impressed with her skills since she had never measured him and they all fit perfectly.

After Christmas had gone, I placed Scruffy the goats clothes in a box to put in the attic with my other Christmas decor. Something had felt off. Like the goat was now naked. I found the other sweaters my friend had knitted for him and got him dressed.

A few years had gone by and Scruffy had his own room, a closet full of clothes that went beyond knitting. I had found clothing specifically for him online. A whole community creating lives for their little goats bought from a home goods store. Friends and family that had not specifically met Scruffy in person were appalled at how much I had grown to care for him. They just didn’t understand. I had even begun feeding him, switching out the pellets in the bowl so that it was fresh everyday.

Until one day I knew I had forgotten to put fresh food in the bowl, I felt so bad. However when I went to check on it in the morning, it was gone. I didn’t have pets, but I searched all around the house for a racoon or something that would have broken in and ate it. Until I realized that it was Scruffy. A painted white, metal goat in a 4 piece Egyptian cotton suit that I had bought online specifically for him. He stood in the kitchen, which was not the last place I placed him. He stared at me and I stared back until I heard the faintest, “Hello!”


And now you’re back, from outer-space…

I just walked in to find you sitting there with that sad look upon your face.

No, but before I get in trouble for copyright infringement or something silly lets get back to why we’re here.

I haven’t written in a while! A long while!  So many things have happened but nothing has happened and anyway. I came to this conclusion (probably again) that if I don’t do it, I won’t do it, and then it’ll be harder to do it. Writing that is. And look at that, just in time for July Camp NaNoWriMo.

*Some disclaimers/excuses are about to be announced*  I just bought a house! Well, in the process of. God, you know what they need to teach in schools? House buying. How do you do it? What’s a mortgage? Do I need a down payment? What are the hidden costs? What is a lateral sewage pipe? Why do I have to fix my lateral sewage pipe? I close on it in the middle of July. So painting, cleaning, moving, organizing, and all that jazz is going to be thrown in the mix of trying to write something again for the 100th time.

I got Scrivener too, so there’s a bit of motivation in getting to use a cool new tool. Have any of you used Scrivener before? There was like two days of learning and I feel like I’ll need to watch some tutorials on youtube along the way but I’m excited.

What am I writing you ask? (I know you didn’t but let’s pretend)  A collection of short stories!  Because let’s face it, I’ve tried actual novels and get about 20000 words in (once) and never finished it. Short stories is where it’s at. I won’t be excerpting much because the idea is to self-publish this once I’m done.

It’s July 1 and I spent most of my free time today learning Scrivener today so I haven’t even started yet. But blogging is close enough to doing something today for me. If you have well wishes or advice or story ideas throw ’em my way!


Flash Fiction: Hot Day

She lifted her left leg out of the car carefully. The skin on her thighs had stuck to the leather seat in the old beat-up car her father swore was a good deal. It was, he was right. He was always right.

She slowly lifted her right leg and stood up. The air conditioning in that tiny car hadn’t worked for a week but she wasn’t bothered enough to fix it. No, the windows did just fine. She was able to let her hand feel the breeze, much like her younger self. Hand out side of her parents station wagon, a giant plane taking the same road they did… if she squinted and imagined hard enough.

She made the journey down the path to the old farm house and reached the old screened door. The house had seen better days. She placed her hand on the metal door handle and stood. The moment was lost. She should have phoned to say she was coming. She used to just walk right in. Judgement got the best of her.

She knocked, instead, on the door of the house she grew up in. Waiting for her mother she hadn’t seen in fifteen years.


Blog November Thirteen

Good evening fellow blogger. Or reader, or follower, or random person who used a google search and somehow ended up here.

We’re in the middle of NaNoWriMo and I know I mostly prepared you all for me writing everyday with doing Inktober prompts as writing prompts. That was fun, and honestly I’ve had more motivation filling those all in since I lagged behind a bit. My Novel this year is centered around a girl who is among infected people. It’s zombie-esque. But that’s about all I know. I’m on November 13th and I haven’t gotten much of anywhere with it. Some things have held me back, just like they do every year. Writers block being one of them. I can’t seem to think of the main disease killing everyone around my protagonist. And I mean, HELLO! That’s a huge plot point! I haven’t watched too many Zombie movies to really pick out the good and the bad. I’ve had this novel in mind since May and have come up with nothing good. I’ve also been busy. My work just took me off overtime so I’ll finally have a few extra hours in my day to hopefully write more. Another thing keeping me from even sitting down was that I didn’t have a name for my protagonist yet. How can you write a story without a thing as important as a name!! Anyway, tonight I actually had time to search the babyname sites and I think I’ve settled on a decent name.

Anyway, I know I’m really far behind, but I’m not quitting this year like I have in the past. I have 18 whole days to catch up. And hey, maybe I’ll only get to 20000, or maybe even 40000. But that’s way more than I have now, and I’ll be okay with that. Shoot for the Moon and you’ll land amongst the stars!
(which is dumb. the stars are farther away, and if you don’t make it to the moon, you’ll be sucked back into Earth’s gravitational pull)

NaNoWriMo Count: 1529


Blog September Nineteen 

A few weeks ago I made a blog post that simply stated my computer died and anything I wrote from here on out would be short until I got it fixed. 

I recently had the opportunity to get my laptop looked at by the only professional that I trust with something monumentally important to me. 

Not only do I have all my stories on there, but I have all my essays from college, countless pictures, a working novel, music… I was heartbroken when I couldn’t get the darn thing to even show the smallest sign of life. So much so, I couldn’t even talk about it, hense the short blurb before. 

So I had my brother look at the poor thing. Whatever seems to be the issue is “out of his wheelhouse.” Which is saying a lot to me because he’s always been a miracle worker with computer issues in the past. He was, however, able to retrieve my files. So here sits my life’s work on a borrowed external hard drive the size of my hand. 

What’s this mean now? I’ll be on the hunt for a new device and my own external hard drive. 

Talk about life experiences and learning not to take something for granted. I know that from now on I’ll be taking extra care to back up my files. I’m urging you to do the same. Go save your life, dear readers. Go now.

You back? Did you back up your documents? Good. 

I’m going to start looking into tablets, my first interest would be the Surface. Just from the short research I’ve done it seems like it would be good for writing on the go. I eventually plan on building a desktop, something that will allow me to do my work and have some fun with video games like my Sims. Until then, something small would do just fine. I’m not going to downright ask for donations but if you’d like to donate to my writing cause I’m sure we could work something out.

In other news. 

I’ve gotten this overwhelming feeling that I need to be writing. But there’s two horrible things about that. 1. I have nothing coming to mind. Total writer’s block. 2. The urge always happens when I’m at work and have no means of stoping what I’m doing to write. I need to get a little notebook and jot down small musings when I can. As for the creativity, well maybe I’m just not being stimulated enough lately. 


Blog August Six.

So. Things happen in real life and I think I decided at one point and didn’t tell anyone that my “blog” posts weren’t going to be like diary entries telling you about every detail of my life. And it seems the majority of them have been that way in explaining why I haven’t written. Excuses is what they are.

Here’s some more excuses.

I quit my job at the bakery. Moved back in with my parents. Didn’t have a job for months and didn’t feel like writing much. Met a great guy. Didn’t write much because of the distance I had to travel to see him. Got a job at a factory. Work extensive hours and don’t feel like doing a damn thing when I get home. So much so in fact that instead of reading or watching anything or writing or anything else that I liked to do I scrolled through pointless Facebook. Stuck in this everlasting loop of “when I start my career someday I’ll do all the things I love.” That cost me my relationship I think. Well there was more to it then that. But that great guy is just a number in my phone now. And that job is still a time sucking hole. I don’t want to write at home for all the distractions and coffee shops in my town are open for what seems like only during the hours that I work. Exaggerating, but still. 

No more excuses. 

Well except maybe the writer’s block excuse, because let’s face it we all have those. I did pop some stories up a couple weeks ago. One or two that I really enjoyed doing and a few that felt like work. Today even I got a prompt idea from a friend and got some words in before my computer died at a coffee shop with outlets that didn’t work. That story I wasn’t excited about anyway and those are always hard to finish. 

Someday I’m gonna be somebody. And this is me saying no more excuses. Just do it.


Blog April 24 2017

Woah. WordPress has reminded me that I’ve had my blog for 4 years! Happy anniversary to me and to you, dear followers. I know I don’t post much anymore, to be honest I haven’t been doing a whole lot of anything lately. Lets see, last I talked about was NaNoWriMo, of which I got about 5000 words and then life got in the way. And it was another three months before that that I had written anything. Though I have played around a bit on my other blog, still just I don’t know, major writers block I guess. What do you do to cure your writers block? Something else must be goin on because I haven’t been doing much of anything I like lately either.

On the other hand I have had some stories in mind, and have most intentions to get down and write them. One will be paired with artwork and another is a sort of collaboration with a poet friend of mine. Well, maybe not collaboration? We got a prompt and wanted to see where each other will go with it, so when we get that done I’ll share with you all. Oh and there’s one that I did start for Halloween but for some reason had no direction with it.

I have always thought that half of writing is research and I’ve bought a few books over the past few months to get down and read. You know, get some inspiration. I like writing horror/thriller/scary stuff and a friend of mine gave me the Grimm Fairytales, which I’ve read some here and there but not the whole thing. I’ve also written a lot of short stories and got a book that is a collection, so I can see what that’s like if I ever decide to publish. So many ideas float in my head when I’m at work but after working 11 hours a day, I don’t feel like doing anything when I get home.

So tell me about you. How do you keep writing when you don’t have anything to write about? Where do you get your inspirations? What would you like to see from me in the future?


Blog July Twenty Six

I haven’t made a blog post since March. Sure, I’ve written some stories but I haven’t really told you what’s going on. And that could just be because I haven’t felt like it. But if you follow my blog, or just now discovering it, I go through bouts of nothing. Not quite writers block, I just don’t want to sit down and do it.  I haven’t even picked up a book to read. Though that is partly because all my books, including the paperwhite, are all packed up still.

But here is what I have been up to. In May I quit my job and moved from the Chicago suburbs back to my hometown on the other side of Illinois. I’ve yet to find a job, but I decided not to settle for something I am going to hate like I have in the past. In the mean time I’ve been working on myself, trying to have a good summer, and helping my parents around the house. I even got a very supportive boyfriend, and even though I left him in the burbs he makes wonderful efforts to make it not seem like a long distance relationship. He fixes problems on my car and I feed him things, so it works out great.

As for writing… I had a terrible nightmare the other night that involved killing two of my fictional best friends that I think would make a terrific story. I tried writing it but couldn’t get the right words out so I waited a day, took the dogs for a walk and cleared my mind. I’ve since picked up the keyboard again and am currently sitting on 500 words, about half my norm for short stories. It’s going to take quite a bit more then that to finish with how much detail I’ve got not having even touched where the dream actually started. My attention has also been drawn to the fact that I haven’t finished the Morty the Dragon story I started years ago, so maybe that’ll be in our future too.

So since I probably wont be finishing the story tonight, you get this. A blog post.


Blog February Twenty Three

It is me. I am back. I have risen from the dead.

Or at least, I dug myself out of the grave and I’m just kind of sitting here waiting for creativity to flow into my mangled brain.

You ever just, don’t feel like anything? This newish job at the bakery (Did I tell you I got a job at a bakery? Idk either. Well I did.) is killing me. I work awkward long hours and don’t have time to do anything for myself really. I obviously haven’t written anything in a while. I haven’t really made time for friends. I haven’t baked or cooked anything outside of work in months. I get up. Go to work. Come home exhausted. Get up. Go to work. I had a few interviews for jobs but have gotten turned down for reasons, mostly because they went with someone else. Man. Trying to make changes in your life is hard.

There’s some things I’d like to talk about but can’t. Mostly how the retail/grocery life sucks and I’ve gotten a pretty good grasp on why. I’ll make a special post for if and when I ever get out of this crazy industry.

I started a short story the other day.. and it’s coming out horror but I’m not sure that’s the actual direction I want to take it. Good stories always go in unexpected directions.

My NaNoWriMo novel from a couple months ago sucked and I know I could do better but I’ll have to read some novels in that style before I can really do anything about it I think. I do think that I want to go back to my novel a couple years ago and actually finish it.

To get into the habit of writing, I need to write. I’ve probably said that a million times, But here we go again I guess.


Blog January Four

New year!

I’m not going to say new me, its always been me and it’s going to stay me. But that doesn’t stop some resolutions.

1. I’m going back on my diet, because although I lost 20 pounds, once I stopped doing it I gained 15. Well, that also included the holidays. Sometimes you can’t help that second helping of turkey. And this time I have the boyfriend working on the diet with me, yay motivation!

2. Writing. Writing. Writing. I did bad with NaNoWriMo. I didn’t write as much as I had hoped. But this year I have a few goals. Post blogs at least once a week. At minimum, once a month. Another goal, finish a book. Probably going to be a children’s book because that is the easiest. I also want to finish the book I started for NaNo.

3. Find what I want to do in life. I recently got accepted to a Graduate Student at Large program and the new semester starts in a week and I’m not sure what class to sign up for. I recently had a talk with the boyfriend and came up with a conclusion. One, get a masters in English and not know what to do with it afterwards. Two, go to culinary school and hope to get a job afterwards. I am afraid to complete either, I would have to quit my full time job. That isn’t a possibility with bills and rent and loans. Hopefully the boyfriend is offered a full time teaching job in the fall, it is looking promising. So many factors come with being an adult it’s nuts. They should have a class in highschool where they teach you all the problems, not just check writing.

So we’ll see how 2015 turns out. Good luck to the rest of you with your resolutions!